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ABOUT THIS SONG I was on a Sunday drive, you remember those, don't you? It was out Highway 58 east of the little town of Santa Margarita, California, a kind of bed room community for San Luis Obispo, the major county metropolis. I came up behind a Porsche, me in my Toyota Pickup, and asked the musical question "Why is there a Porsche in the road?" complete with melody and timing. I had been at this long enough to know that something was pushing through. I stayed with it, and it really went no further until the drive was over and I had returned to my orange and grey condo in Santa Margarita, where I had been living for the last three years. It was convenient as I drove in the morning North on Highway 101 to Paso Robles, where I taught fourth grade. Then I could go South on that same 101 at night on the weekends to get to the band gigs. Upstairs in my condo was my recording studio, a makeshift thing that worked in the very high ceilinged room. Downstairs was the spinet piano, slightly out of tune, that had been my Mother's through much of my growing up. She used to hold down the sustain pedal and play the black notes...which produced that haunting pentatonic minor scale that is so ethnically famous. I never grew tired of it...so, by the time I sat down at the piano to noodle, the Porsche reference song turned into "What will I be when I'm Old." I'm sure you can trace that transition... Now that was something to work with. I envisioned a little girl/boy looking winsomely to the sky, or down the road wondering what was gonna happen. And that is all this song is, a point in time when a thought was revealing itself and triggering some emotion that made a mood...temporarily. Even still, at 64, I wonder the same thing. I do not know how long this journey, this current incarnation is going to last. The more I open, the more I get that this body, our design, is capable of purring for far longer than it has been told it will last. The older I get, the younger I feel, honestly. Maybe it's the work I do, or the attitude I carry, or the expansive beliefs I hold, or the choice to toss away much of the limiting drivvle I was subjected through the years. But, I do wonder...will I be strong, hold the world in my hands?... I do know that what I believe, what I think, what I say, what I do, all serve to set a template for the next moment I am given and I claim. I am excited about the life unfolding, the world revealing itself, the promise of fully waking up...a promise that I have carried since I first had awareness. We can ask the questions and open the door to a deeper exploration...and we do not have to fear a future that happens to us. We are powerful beings with a discerning eye that gives us endless points of choice to respond or react to the form and substance of this Now moment. I know what it is like to be miserable...and I know what it is like to see beyond the old programming, live in new frequencies, that make colors brighter, reveal more in each vision, and celebrate with me every time I take a breath. What will I be when I'm old?..someone and something even way more magnificent than I can currently imagine...I like that, yes, I do... |
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SONG LYRICS: WHAT WILL I BE? What will I be when I’m old? Will I have lived out my dreams? Will I be strong hold the world In my hands? What will I be when I’m old What will I be when I’m old? Will I remember these days? Will I have found all the keys And the gold? What will I be when I’m old? Here I stand looking toward The rest of my life A little scared but wishing On a star And still I wonder What will I be when I’m old? Will there be joy in my heart? Will I be there for the little ones Who need me? What will I be when I’m old Here I stand looking toward The rest of my life A little scared but wishing On a star And still I wonder What will I be when I’m old Will I be loved or alone? Will they remember all the things I have done? What will I be when I’m old? ©1996.Music for Every Soul. All Rights Reserved. |
13 What Will I Be
